Of all of the rooms in a house, surely the bathroom is the most innocent and inoffensive? This is place we go to recline and unwind in a hot foamy bath, surrounded by scented tea lights. This is the room where we groom ourselves for that special night out with someone we love. The bath room is a nice room. Unless you happen to be a film director. In movies, bathrooms are intrinsically bad places, where unpleasant things happen to unsuspecting people. Whether the intention is to shock us, thrill us or make us laugh (and occasionally all three at once) the bathroom is the go-to destination for movie malarkey, as these five unforgettable bathroom scenes prove.
1. Zipper me doo-dah, ‘There’s Something About Mary’
All poor Ben Stiller wants to do is spend a quick penny in the bathroom of his prom date Cameron Diaz before whisking her away for a romantic night of teenage fun. In an act that too many men deeply identify with Stiller pulls up his trouser fly without due care and attention horrendously trapping an intimate part of his anatomy in the zip. The pain is hilariously palpable and made more so by the intervention of Cameron, her mum and dad, a fireman and ultimately the insensitive ambulance men who stretcher Stiller away to hospital with the immortal comment “We’ve got a bleeder”.
2. Boom-boom bathroom, ‘Lethal Weapon II’
If we suspend disbelief for a moment, the pressure sensitive bomb beneath the toilet seat on which near-to-retirement cop Roger Murtagh (Danny Glover) is sitting makes for a scene that combines action and hilarity in equal measure. How the hell can partner Martin Riggs (a mulleted Mel Gibson) get Murtagh to safety out of the bathroom without detonating the dangerous dunny? Answer: he can’t. But by launching himself and Murtagh into the (surprisingly bombproof) bathtub they both survive the ensuing blast, giving a whole new meaning to ‘Toilet! Duck!’.
3. Bunny-boiler in the bath, ‘Fatal Attraction’
Proving that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, murderous Glenn Close goes on the rampage with a seriously large kitchen knife in Michael Douglas’s bathroom intent on killing his wife. Douglas leaps to the rescue, a brawl ensues and our hero manages to overpower Close and drown her in the conveniently full bath. The baddie is drowned. The ordeal is over. Michael relaxes. So does the movie audience. Big mistake: this is the bathroom, where bad things happen. Far from drowned Glenn Close violently springs back to life for another go, stopped this time for good by the gun which Douglas’ wife has conveniently had time to go and find.
4. Unconventional weapons, ‘Naked Gun 2½’
The day is not going well for Police Lieutenant Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) when he’s cornered in the en-suite bathroom of a hospital ward by a baddie with evil intentions. Overpowered, Drebin is held over the sink whilst the baddie forcibly cleans his teeth with an electric toothbrush until our hero literally (and hilariously) foams at the mouth. Drebin counters with a hot blast to the face from a nearby hairdryer, forcing the malcontent to reel backwards in surprise. He quickly recovers, throwing a pink towel over Drebin’s head and making good his escape..
5. Cracked porcelain, ‘True Romance’
Going on the run with Christian Slater and a suitcase full of mob cocaine was never the wisest career choice for Patricia Arquette’s Alabama – this is a Quentin Tarantino film after all. Seriously beaten up by a hit man –Virgil- waiting for her in her Holiday Inn room, Alabama is hurled through the bathrooms glass shower door. Dazed in the bathtub she grabs a fistful of shampoo and rubs it into Virgil’s eyes as he attacks. It’s suddenly not his day as she thrusts a shard of shower-glass into his face. In a subsequently much-copied cinematic move Alabama grabs the heavy porcelain cistern lid from the toilet and smashes it over Virgil’s head before frying his face with an impromptu hairspray-can flamethrower. Ultimately Alabama is able to grab Virgil’s sawn-off shotgun and finish the job. Like we said, this is a Quentin Tarantino film…
Guest Post By: O’Brien’s Lighting, a retailer of bathroom lighting